Specialty: Showing numbers who's boss.

Weapons of Choice: A calculator and a bad attitude.

Motto: We're All Mad Here.

How did you decide on your derby name? What's the story?: Suppose there is a mathematician who plays roller derby. Suppose for the sake of contradiction her name is not Quadratic Abrasion. Then clearly she does not play roller derby. Hence, our assumption is false and her name is correct. QED.

Derby Team(s): Sake Tuyas

Accolades: Most Likely To Use Math As A Weapon, 1987

Introduction to roller derby?: The lovely and talented Ash-Kicker had her way with me.

Derby heros: Pearl Reckless - most dangerous booty in the league!

Do you have a derby wife? Who?: My one and only - Devil's Daughter. She hooked me with those double D's.

Interests outside of roller derby: I have math and derby. Do I need anything else?

Best song to skate to: "Professor Booty" by the Beastie Boys.

The skate key to your heart?: Strong coffee and stronger bourbon. Sometimes serparate. Sometimes not.

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