Specialty: Electrocution and pin the tail on the donkey.
Weapons of Choice: Head, arms, legs, feet, hands, butt, torso, spleen, etc.
Motto: "I smell burning . . ."
Bands: Black Sabbath or The Wiggles.
Books: Pat the Bunny, Electrocution: A Medical Dictionary, The North Atlanta Yellow Pages 2001 Edition.
Movies: The Muppets Take Manhattan; Satyricon; Trains, Planes and Automobiles, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation; Baby Einstein; From Dusk till Dawn.
Cartoon Character: Dot Warner from The Animaniacs
Celebrity Most Likely to Make Out With: Animal from the Muppet Show
Dislikes: Time-outs, and havin’ my hands tied together with tube socks.
Guilty Pleasures: Coloring outside the lines and murder in the second degree.
Makes Me Happy: Electrocution and recess.
Makes Me Sad: Missing my electro-shock therapy sessions.
Gets Me Hot: Stickin’ thingies in light sockets.
Hobbies: Collectin’ thingies (coat hangers, tin foil effigies, dead birdies, pinky toes, umbrellas, molars, babies) to stick in light sockets.
I Can’t Live Without: Tin foil, Elmer’s glue, my harness, or the voices.
Good Luck Charms: My baby dolls, and my baby dolls’ blowtorch.
Drink of Choice: Elmer’s glue cut with turpentine and a splash of Jack Daniels with a Ritalin chaser.
Skate Key to My Heart: Is the key shiny? Where is it? I want one! Is it shiny? Mine!

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